Leafsong’s Diary 21.5 – In which Leafsong is experiencing growing pains.

Every time that Mirae takes a wobbling step and plunges flat onto her face, I literally feel her pain in my nose and cheeks. I didn’t know that becoming a mother would mean that your children became literal extensions of your being. When Analith manages to fit the square block through the square hole and the round peg through the round hole, I feel his immature cackling as a blazing, fierce joy. When Mirae is unsettled by something (which, seeing as she is a huge coward and is scared by shadows, spiders, and things which move quickly, occurs quite often), I feel nausea in the pit of my stomach. And whenever one of them cries from sadness or pain, I am overwhelmed with despair.

When I was still pregnant with Mirae, I didn’t think that I would be able to love her as much as I did Analith, the firstborn, the precious son which my husband had so longed for. I thought that it wouldn’t be possible to give this new baby the same quantity of love that I had given my precious baby boy, that my simple, uncomplicated heart could not contain any more. This view may have been influenced by my brother, Ban – the oldest of us three – who told me that he had noticed a general diminishing of affection towards himself from our parents, when the second (Lolli) and third (me) child arrived. But when Mirae was born, it was if my heart had grown in size. I didn’t need to transfer any of the love I bore Analith to this new baby; I could continue to love them both in vast and equal amounts.

The twins are due to be born in just over a week. I am bloody sick of being so vast: if they dare to be even a day overdue, I shall find a way to induce them out. It is not fair, especially since my lifemate’s guild is full of willowy, slender beauties. I feel like Elekk-Girl beside them. You’d think that being a mother for the third (fourth-twins?) time, I wouldn’t be nervous anymore, but I am. I woke up every thirty minutes for the first three months of Analith’s life, to check that he was still breathing. I did the same thing for Mirae, and I shall do the same thing for the twins. Flora and Loredar. My husband is being a trogg and refusing to let me name the boy Florian, after the Kaldorei wall scroll pin-up with the flowing locks and loincloth. Hmph. I may ask again after the birth, when he is dewy-eyed and cooing over the newborns (and therefore manipulable). Who can resist the fluttering eyelashes of the radiant post-birth glowing Leafsong as she rests, fragile and delicate, against the cushions???

Obviously the above is a hilarious jest. Post-birth Leafsong is a sweating, bloody, red-eyed, insane-haired, puce-faced, foul-mouthed mess. More likely to throw a pillow than rest sweetly against one.


1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Aphel said,

    Leafsong is such a good mommy! Coudln’t ask for a better one!

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