Archive for January, 2010

More Art!

Beurghes did this amazing picture of Leafsong!!! Isn’t it stunning?! I wish I had skills ._. Anyway, so yeah, she’s awesome ❤

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WW2/WoW

(( I don’t remember where I found this originally, it’s been around for a little while! Anyway I think it’s hilaaarious ))

England: Ok everyone, this is a simple fight, basically we are going to form one big circle around Germany and slowly dps it down. Can uh someone please help me summon the US.
US: Uh yeah guys, I’m in the bank sorting my bags out, dont summon yet.
Poland dies.
England: POLAND WTF WHY START THE FIGHT!
Poland: Dude I didn’t he just aggroed.
Austria-Hungary is afflicted by mind-control.
England: SOMEONE PICK IT UP NOW
France: It’s cool, I got this
France casts German-France border shield wall.
Germany casts go-through-belgium.
France dies
France: FFS why do I always die so quick?
England: OK WTF WHY AM I TANKING, I’M SUPPOSED TO BE RANGE DPS FROM OVER HERE. OK I need 2 people to help summon US, we still got this.
US: Wait, I’m just looking at cloth on the AH, don’t summon.
Germany takes flight.
England: OK OK OK, he’s in phase 2, I need all heals on me.
Canada: Dude, just bandage yourself.
Italians attacks British Somaliland in East Africa
British Somaliland: Adds have spawned.
Greece dies.
Yugoslavia dies.
Greece: F$%@ing blitzkrieg, that Sh$@s way too overpowered.
England: Ok Russia, you need to pull aggro and collapse all the way to Stalingrad
Russia: AH WTF, i was supposed to be dps, goddamn you noobass tanks.
US has been afflicted by pearl harbor.
US: AH WTF
England: ?????
US: My durability on my weapons just went down like 50%, what the hell?
Australia: OH CRAP AN ADD JUST SPAWNED ABOVE ME, helppppppppppp.
US: Ok summon
US: wth
England: ???
US: You guys are like tier 1, and wtf france you’re still using greys?
France: /w US Can i have some money plz?
England: Ok we got this side covered, how’s right side?
Russia: just popped mass production, i’m coo
Germany becomes enraged and launches V2 rockets.
England: Ok stay away from those and get him down quick
Germany dies
US: Ok all on Japan
England: US, execute
US launches Enola Gay
Japan: Stay your attack mortals, I submit, I SUBMIT.
US: LOOT
England: ohhhhhh, this should be interesting [Germany], ok roll if you need.
US rolls 50 (1-100)
Russia rolls 50 (1-100)

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(( Testing the waters with a hypothetical RP situation on MSN! ))

(( So I brought up a possible RP scenario to Aphel on MSN today! Based on the idea that Aphel spent some time up with the Wildhammer dwarves seven or eight years ago before present-time! While he was there, he wasn’t exactly chaste…))

Ro says:
*I have the best idea
*Ahahahaha


JL J – says:
*?
*=O


Ro says:
*There is a knock on the door of the GHE one day….Aphel answers it…..behind the door is a MONSTROSITY…..a thing with a stumpy, squat torso and long arms and legs, with a bulbous nose and bushy beard…with skin colour a pale bluish colour …. it squeaks to Aphel in a NE voice with a Dwarven accent …… “HELLO……FATHER”


JL J – says:
*OMGGGGGGGGGGGG
F*CK THAT
*NO
F*ClK
*F*CK
*NO
*F*CK IT
NO


Ro says:
*AHhahahahahahaha


JL J – says:
*F*CKKK
*NO


Ro says:
*Ahahahahahhaa
*Can you imagine???
*What would Aphel do???!!


JL J – says:
*Shit himself


Ro says:
*Ahahahahahhaahah
*Literally!?!


JL J – says:
*Yes


Ro says:
*Teeheee
*What would he do then?


JL J – says:
*Run
*!


Ro says:
*xDDD
*I think it would be cute
*He could call it Greizzit


JL J – says:
*Ughhhh
*NO
*NO
*F*CK IT
*NO
*IT WOULD NOT
*N O


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Story

(( This story is set before Leafsong becomes Aphel’s student, just after her family have moved into the new GHE premises in Darnassus ))

Melarian inhaled a lungful of Peacebloom vapour and narrowed his eyes at his youngest daughter. “Tell me what he said once more.”

Leafsong, sitting crosslegged on the floor at his feet, obediently recanted the man’s words for the third time. ” ‘Yes, why not? Goddess knows I have nothing better to do with my time at the moment. I’ll be your Shan’do and show those Elune-damned Cenarions that Ashamal Shalah’aman has some life in him yet!’ ”

Faelara Gladefall shook her head ominously, shaking out her knitting as she rocked rhythmically in one corner of the poky room. “He just wants her there for mating, imbecile!” Melarian scoffed for a moment, his lined face creasing in amusement. “Faelara, come on.”

Both of them angled their gazes down at their daughter. Leafsong, , her painfully skinny limbs folded beneath her; white hair stringy with dirt and grease; teeth crooked and dotted with gaps; gazed back up at them. Finally Faelara sighed and nodded, hooking a new row onto her needle.

“Ah. Yes, I see what you mean.” Melarian jerked his chin at his daughter and she stood up, awkwardly tall, her shoulders hunched defensively. “No matter what the reasons are; what’s important is that she keep him interested until we get all we can from him. He’s of Highborne stock; which means there’ll be Highborne gold somewhere. Twiglet, pretend I’m your new Shan’do. “Hello Thero’shan””.

Leafsong scratched her head, before replying carefully. “Hullo Shandy. ‘Ow are you?” Faelara shot a withering scowl down at her daughter, Melarian hit his head with his hand.

“No! No! It’s “How”! Not “‘Ow”! How! How! Say it with me.”
“‘Ow” said Leafsong carefully, then “Oww!” as her father hurled his hookah at her head.

“How! Hhhhow! Again!”
“Hhhhow-” Leafsong bleated pathetically, praying for a customer to walk in and distract her relentless father.

Melarian groaned, stalking the perimeter of the stockroom in agitation. “It’s hopeless! Or “‘opeless”, as you’d no doubt pronounce it. It’s quIte embarassing that you’ve retained this vulgar mode of speech despite our new circumstances, daughter. We ain-aren’t on the streets of Nighthaven anymore.”

Leafsong cast her eyes down apologetically. “Sorry, pa. I can’t ‘elp it.”

Melarian shooked his head rapidly, letting out an explosive sound of exasperation. “We’d have had better luck sticking one of your brothers in a dress! Lights off, who can tell the difference anyway?”

Leafsong pulled a face. Faelara stood up with a rheumatic creak, clutching her knitting. “Right. Come on girl, we’re going to go shopping. The least we can do is get that mass of hair detangled and cleaned up. The last time I saw you comb your hair was a decade ago.”

——

Two hours later, Faelara and Melarian perched expectedly in their seats, gazes angled toward the bedroom doorway. “Twiglet! Hurry yourself up.”

“Coming, pa”

A moment later she emerged, shyly. Melarian drew in a reluctant  breath of approval. “Well! A good wash and a haircut later, and you look almost respectable!”

Leafsong smiled widely, and both of her parents recoiled in horror.

“What is THAT?!? On your TEETH??” screeched Melarian, pointing a trembling finger at the mass of copper affixed to his daughter’s mouth. Leafsong’s face fell and she closed her mouth hurriedly. Trying not to move her lips more than a millimetre; she replied dolefully:

“It’s a copper wire ‘retainer’. Goblin made. It’s thopthed to ‘elp wiv my teef!”

The next moment she let out a squeal as her mother swooped, harpy-like, across the room and attempted to yank the metallic contraption from her daughter’s teeth.

“Agh! Agggh! Aaagh!”
“Elune-damned- come here-”
“Aiieeee…”
“It’s not coming off! Melarian, the damned girl has only gone and stuck it to her teeth!”

Melarian groaned and leant back against the counter for a moment, his long fingers gripping the wood steadyingly.

“Well, that’s that. The only lucrative purpose for your mouth now is biting off his manly member and holding it for ransom.”

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Leafsong’s Diary 25.1 – In which Leafsong doesn’t have much news.

Hrmm! A summary of the past few days. Things haven’t been very eventful, which is GREAT. Don’t get me wrong, I love it when my days are tedious and bland! When the most exciting part of my day is Analith vomiting explosively for no reason, I couldn’t be happier. My classes have started back – unfortunately, due to my abysmal performance at review, I’m repeating all of my classes except for one (Anthropology. I’ve heard my Shan’do ranting about each of the races enough to have the negatives of each race embedded in my head!) I even have to take remedial Thorns.

The shop is almost back to normal now, the builders have been in and out (looking slightly wary, I suppose those rumours about me being a sex slave exporter haven’t quite died down), and things have been completely renovated. I like our new bed (it’s huge), but the babies both hate their new crib (even though it’s of Gnomish design and has climate control! How could they not enjoy that?!)

Oh, my husband did get into a scrap with some Draenei in the twisting back staircase of the Slaughtered Lamb. He got hysterical, they got their tails in a twist, it ended with blood and tears as usual. I seriously think he needs anger management!

Also, he tried to pressure me into mating with him last night. I told him straight-up no. He might be a ladies’ man but those tactics don’t work on me! I built a wall of pillows between us, like the Impenetrable Wall of Greymane. Ha! FOILED!

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Hellmonth!!!!

Slightly hellish 3.5 week period coming up (4 midterms, 3 essays, 6 tutorials) so updates might be a little sporadic for a while! Goddamnit school arghagahfffghh

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New outfit!

And another vanilla end boss dead! Never been in BWL before, apart from wiping on the first boss at level 70 (ha!). It was pretty fun, the suppression room is AMAZING!!! Why haven’t they done that again for a later raid? (perhaps because would have been hellish at 60, hrrm, hehe)

Anyway, I got the Stormrage top! And luckily it was an actual top and not a robe, so I could make it into a new outfit for Leaf =)

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Making a machinima….

….And it’s going to suck big ones. HA!!! I’ve never made one before and the most sophisticated tools I have at my disposal are Windows Movie Maker and MS Paint. Ahahahahaahaha!

Edit: Well here it is! LOL.

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Leafsong’s Diary 18.1 – In which Leafsong’s New Year gets off to a bad start.

It’s been a somewhat less than satisfactory start to the New Year, if truth be told. Now I don’t like to complain – if there’s anything I’ve learnt from a lifetime of poverty, it’s that complaining don’t get you nowhere – but the events of the past few days have irked me quite a bit. I think it’s all my husband’s fault, too. (Well, that’s debatable, but I need someone to blame!)

Apparently sometime in the past few days, after I had gone to bed with the babies, my Shan’do sneaked out and got into some kind of confrontation with a woman from the Bloodied Ninth. You know, that shady military branch of the Guard? I’m still not sure about their exact jurisdiction, but human politics interests me about as much as last week’s leftovers, so. Anyway, it ended in violence (question: when does it ever NOT end in violence, when my husband is involved? I really have to start enforcing a curfew on him. There’s no telling that he’ll get up to when he’s deprived of my sweet, tranquil, calming presence!) – it ended in violence, and now the Ninth have a vendetta against my entire family. A vendetta that apparently involves slaughtering my entire family!

I KNOW! How does that make any sense? Yes, my Shan’do did attempt to brutally murder an undoubtedly innocent member of the Ninth. I am aware of that (now! I was kept in the dark for quite some time, mind you!). But to retaliate by throwing a bomb directly at me, while I was holding the baby, no less? And then setting fire to the shop, which could have had my entire family – babies, grandmother, cousin and brothers inside? Do you know what that is? BLOODY RIDICULOUS. And do you also know what that is?

The idea of a STUPID man!

Men! Their pigheadedness and stupidity overwhelms me sometimes. And that does include my own lifemate, who has the foresight of a brick wall. Only a man could rationalise the slaughter of an entire – innocent- family, for the crime of an individual. Clearly, their brains haven’t evolved fully yet. I mean, they can’t birth children, so they’re obviously biologically inferior.

Hmmm, it could also be the influence of a weak and shrewish woman on said above man. I doubt that a woman would advocate the murder of infants, though. Unless! It was not a woman by birth, but a castrated man who took on a woman’s persona. Aha! I am astounded by my own genius. The peculiarities of the Ninth are curious indeed.

Enough debating, my brain hurts. So the GHE was burnt to the ground, but since I had it insured for ten times its actual value (seeing as I’m usually storing some “other” goods in the basement, luckily they were shipped out on Friday!; I can afford to have it rebuilt even better than before. I’ll make a tidy little profit out of it, actually! The babies are staying with Pa in Darnassus for a little while, until this situation calms down. I’m sleeping in a tent outside the GHE for the time being, it should take a few more days before the workmen finish the upper floor. I’m selling herbs off a blanket- it’s actually quite nostalgic, reminds me of the old days! My husband is alternating between volcanic fury and seething silence. Every so often he will break into snarling threats of doom, which are actually quite relaxing to listen to. Like white noise from those Gnomish contraptions. Really gets you off to sleep at night! It’s quite nice to not be woken up five times by screeching infants. Have fun with that, Pa! I do miss them, though. Weird, eh?

Anyway, I better get on. I have a huge spot that needs squeezing. It’s like a second nose. Terrible. There’s a real tragedy!

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Intellectual Superiority

Leafsong sat on the edge of the counter, brow furrowed into deep lines as she stared across at her two brothers. They sat cross-legged on the floor, their features remarkably similar to her own, all three faces sharing a similar expression of confusion and puzzlement. Finally, Ban shook his head.

I just don’t understand it.”

Neither do I!”

Me either.”

As one, they tilted their heads upright to gaze at the hunched figure at what remained of his workstation on the devastated upper gallery, hood pulled down low over his forehead, lip curled as he furiously scribbled on a row of parchment. A lock of greying blue hair quivered as his entire body shook with rage. Analith was curled on his lap, face pressed against silken robe, thumb in mouth as he sucked contentedly in his sleep. His father ignored him.

Leafsong sighed, shrugging a bony shoulder as she glanced down at Mirae, who was busy chewing on a wooden spoon.

I just don’t understand why he hates you two so much! You’re both perfectly normal and nice Kaldorei. You’re my brothers, my blood! How can he love me and despise you? It ain’t natural.”

Ban shook his head portentously, a solemn expression on his face as he adjusted his spectacles. A fat, leather-bound tome lay in his lap, with Faith is Reason: A New Analysis of Doctrine, Ashamal Shalah’aman emblazoned on the cover. A quill was tucked behind his ear, the tip grey with faded ink. A deep sigh rumbled from within his throat as he shook his head heavily, pursing his lips.

And I was so looking forward to discussing the intricacies of New Elunism with him. I’ve owned his text for some time – I’ve annotated it, and wanted to enter into debate with him on several issues!”

Leafsong clicks her tongue in disapproval, reaching down to pull a giggling Mirae onto her lap.

I don’t know, Ban! I don’t know what’s with him. He seems determined to stunt his own intellectual development, these days. I’ve tried time and time again to get him to expand his mental boundaries, but he just refuses. He’s determined to be a simpleton, I think! Well, it’s his own fault if he doesn’t want to engage in academic debate with equal minds- oh!”

Her expression cleared, a ray of sunlight piercing the clouds and illuminating her features in a moment of revelation.

Oh! I know what it is?”

Both of her brothers gazed up at her expectantly.

It’s because you’re SMARTER than him, and he’s afraid that he will be humiliated! Oh, that’s got to be it. Poor darling husband! I’m gonna slip him some brain expanding herbs.”

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