Archive for July, 2009

Leafsong’s Diary 30.7 – In which Leafsong discusses her feminine passions.


I’ve bought two new giant wall-scrolls to decorate the dingy quarters of our home! Such a bargain! I bought them off a stall at the weekly Kaldorei market held in the harbour. One of them is of ♥ Shan’do Fandral Staghelm ♥ , who is both my role model and The Young Kaldorei’s Hot Druid of the Year. The other one is of Kaldorei youth culture icon ♥♥♥♥♥ FLORIAN♥♥♥♥♥. He looks so gorgeous, with his bulging muscles and long, flowing turquoise hair; posing heroically in his loin cloth! I stuck him on the ceiling above our bed, so my Shan’do and I can see him EVERY MORNING when we wake up, and EVERY NIGHT before we go to sleep. Aaahh! It’s the best purchase I’ve made all month. My Shan’do keeps gazing at it with a contorted expression on his face. I imagine that he is overcome with passion for Florian’s masculine form, and is frantically trying to hide his lurve from his young wife.

In other news, my Shan’do is fighting in a series of arena matches in Dalaran next week. He is going to be staying there, and myself and the babies will be accompanying him. He is trying to trick me into thinking it is a “holiday”, but it is not a “holiday”, it is a week surrounded by sorcerers, a week away from PROFIT! Bah!

((OOC note: In my head, Florian is the Kaldorei equivalent of Fabio, front-cover model of women’s romance novellas! I enclose a picture of him below….and what I imagine FLORIAN to look like, below the below! Marvel at my AMAZING MS Paint skills!!!))

fabio florian


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Absence (again! *guilt*)

So there won’t be any updates until next Saturday! (8th August). My mum is on this huge geneology kick, and she’s discovered the exact obscure little Egyptian village where her mother is from. Egypt in August!!! The heat is going to be even worse than Morocco in June ._. My sis and brothers have managed to get out of it (due to children/work/etc), but slacker student me has no excuse, so it’s going to be me, my parents, and my niece’s Tamagotchi (which I have stupidly agreed to babysit)!! Four days boiling like a lobster in Egypt; then I am flying seperately to Corfu (Greece), meeting a couple of my girlfriends,then taking a ferry to Ithaca to check out this teeny holiday property that my parents gave me for my nineteenth birthday (since I have ALWAYS absolutely adored Greece). It’ll probably be right dodgy- it is called SHINGLES– a bad omen, I think!! Who wants a villa named after an STD?!! Oh well, even if the place is so gross we have to spend all day on the beach, that’s fine by me =)

NATURALLY, WITH MY FACTOR 90 SUNCREAM AND GIGANTIC THREE-MILE RADIUS BEACH HAT ON! Although I am mixed-race, my skin is typico Brit fish-belly white and I have gorge (not) carroty hair, so I burn like a piece of toast jammed in the toaster.

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Leafsong’s Diary 29.7 – In which Leafsong reconciles with her husband!


Shan’do Aphel and I are reconciled!

He, surprisingly, agreed to the terms dictated by my esteemed solicerator, Mr. Scrubb. I would just like to mention that Mr. Scrubb behaved with impeccable professionalism and gravity throughout the meeting with my husband; right up to the moment when someone stole his trousers and he had to chase the ruffian through the streets of Stormwind.

But anyway, Shan’do Aphel is back in our quarters above the GHE; I must say that it’s nice to have him back. The babies missed him, and I’ll be grateful not to have to take them around with me on my business rounds.

Apparently, he’s forsaken his vision! Left his followers stranded! I didn’t exactly expect that. Though I’ve always insisted that he prize his family above his zealotry, I never actually thought that he would- ah, never mind! It’s done now. Hopefully there won’t be any angry repercussions from the Tears, I’ve been having a nice quiet week so far.

Also, my Shan’do has apparently got a job as a GLADIATOR! I have no idea, really. I’m hoping that it includes good healthcare benefits, though. Maybe ones that could be extended to the whole family???

Note: must investigate the above further!!!

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Leafsong’s Diary 28.7 – In which Leafsong shows off her impressive legal knowledge.


Dear Diary,

You are the only man in my life now. Well, you used to be female (I think I used to refer to you as “Flora”), but since I have callously discarded my husband in the gutter of Life, I have a man-shaped gap in my life; and you will be filling it. Congratulations on your gender change!

(An’alith doesn’t count as he is only a year old, and all babies look the same. He looks like his sister still. When will he get some more manly features? When will the beard grow in? Must ask father in next correspondence)

So my husband and I had a big argument a few nights ago, and I haven’t seen him since. He said some very nasty things to me. Some of them were even nastier because they were partially true- or at least, they were true, once. The silly thing was that this whole argument began because I was terrified that the realisation of his dream would result in the obliteration of the business my family have put their lives into; and angry that he seemed so uncaring about this, and the fact that this would render the babies’ fortunes worthless. He doesn’t seem to realise that wealth means nothing in a post-apocalyptic world; and I would rather eat my own foot than see the children suffer through the poverty I experienced for most of my life.

However, our argument also brought to the surface thoughts that must have been dwelling on my husband’s mind for a long time. He accused me of being a selfish bitch (!) who wanted to continue my own lavish existence, no matter what. Oh- and that I had only married him for his money, and that I would never get a hand on his fortune!

I puzzled over how to respond to this for a long time. I love my husband, but if I were to take him back now, it could never be the same. Not after the things he has accused me of!

Me! SELFISH?? I keep barely any of what little I earn for myself! I give it to the children, or send it home to my family. I never ask my Shan’do for money for myself, only that which I need for the children.


I have come up with a solution.

I have been to – A SOLICERATOR.

This human solicerator is a man of the law- from the Stormwind business, Hoebean, Hoebean, Hoebean and Scrubs. I have employed Mr. Archibald Scrubs to write my case. I trust him implicitly, especially when I caught him trying to sneak out a precious ornament in his pocket when leaving my quarters earlier today. A man after my own heart! So; without further ado, here is the expertly written letter of terms with which I will DAZZLE my husband later this evening!


Between Madam Leafsong Shalahaamanaa Shamu the Kaldorei and Her Legal Husband Afail the Kaldorei. On the Twenty Eighth Day of the Year of Our King Twenty Seven.

Leafsnog, to be known hereafter as the PLAINTIFF, does hereby SEVER her financial bondings with her husband AFAIL, to be known hereafter as the DEFENDANT; from this date insofar, not withstanding the provision of child support, in a manner which shall be deemed necessary and regular and sufficient forthwith, prima facie, to include yet not exclude winter wear and booties; pursuant to the hereby aforetaining matter at hand, ipso facto, the PLAINTIFF AND DEFENDANT will forthwith retain the aforementioned rights above and beyond what could be considered reasonable doubt.

SEE! Isn’t that professional? My Shan’do will no doubt be impressed and terrified by my substantial grasp of legal jargon. Basically, it means that I will no longer receive any financial support from my husband from this moment on, including any provisions he may have made for me in his will.


((OOC disclaimer: I studied Law for a year in uni before I switched to History =P Yes, I am aware that the legal document is complete nonsense XD)

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The Cleansing Of The House

The Cleansing of the House

The guttering candleabra hung low in the veiled room, casting an inconsistent flicker over the detritus of the day’s commerce, scattered about the shelves and surfaces of the room. Although the “Open” sign hung outside had been reversed to show its inhibiting twin; and the lights in the windows of surrounding retailers had long been dormant; the storefront of the Gladefall Herb Empire’s Stormwind branch still pulsed with life and bustling activity. Leafsong Shalah’aman was immersed in a rare moment of spring cleaning; had in fact awoken from her sleep overcome with a compelling desire to scrub, to scour, to polish and to purge every speck of dirt which had dared to defile her precious domain. As a result of this centennial impulse, she had descended from the upstairs quarters armed with mop and bucket and enthused resolution; and was now kneeling in a slowly expanding puddle of grubby water, determinedly rubbing away at a suspicious-looking stain on the floorboards.

Her husband, rudely awoken by the crashing and spat-out Darnassian curses that were as vital an accompaniment to Leafsong’s housekeeping as were mop or broom, was leaning against the door-frame and squinting out into the fog, the remains of a cigar smouldering between his fingers. As yet another muffled profanity drifted in his direction, he cast a revolted look at the glowing stump pinched between finger and thumb. Canting his head around, he directed a faintly irritated query at the pair of feet sticking out from beneath the counter.



“What vile concoction have I just ingested?”

She shuffled backwards on hands and knees, brushing a dirty strand of hair from her eyes, peering through the dimly lit space between them. “That’s one of the experimental Fadeleaf and thistlewort cigarillos we just imported from Feathermoon. Tobacco-free, meant to be relaxing.” She looked up at him, hopefully. “Do you feel relaxed?”

He shot her a pointed look. “Not in the slightest.” Then, wryly, extinguishing the charred butt beneath his heel: “I should have known better than to trust a GHE-stamped product.”

She shot him a look no less sharp. “I’m going to – oof – pretend you didn’t say that.” Drawing herself up, fingers brushing the new bump on her forehead; she hoisted the bucket of dirty water up by the handle and trotted across the storefront. Tipping the pail up by one end, the dirty water sluiced down the grassy ramp, and puddled in the grass below. The Park was shrouded in a greyish sea-mist, the cloudy veil masking the buildings opposite and dampening the grass. The wisp-light was barely visible through the gloom, faint bluish pinpricks hanging motionless against a dusky backdrop.

As Leafsong turned to go back inside, she caught her husband’s eye. He had returned his intense scrutiny to a curling scrip of parchment; a creamy fragment which bore the marks of frequent handling, a piece of paper which was making it’s sixth reappearance in as many hours. She frowned, her fingers tensing on the bucket handle; then mentally spurred herself forwards; finally determined to ask the question which had struck her like a crushing blow that morning; and had proceeded to contaminate all subsequent thought. The asking of this question was not an easy thing for her, as she had been through all possible answers repeatedly in her head; and none of them was especially pleasant. Still, the question had been itching at her lips, and now she would finally relent and release it; dangerous beast though it was.

“Shan’do Aphel?”

After a moment’s beat he turned to look at her, cleaving his gaze from the scrap of parchment. His slow gaze raked over her body like a physical thing; and she knew that his practised inspection had detected the quickened pulse throbbing at her neck, the heightened colour risen in her cheeks, the slight tremour of her hands. He raised an eyebrow, a question unspoken but manifest all the same.

“You know your vision for Azeroth? Your new nation, the dream you work every day to realise?”


“You- believe that it will finally come in the form of a cataclysmic event? Like the Sundering?”

“I believe that this world is due to be cleansed by Elune soon, yes. The righteous and the faithful will be saved from Her wrath; and we will begin to construct our most devout nation of Elune’Ashar.”

She took a deep breath. “And after this- apocalypse- the other beings on Azeroth-”

“Whatever scattered remnants of the unrighteous remain; they will be scourged from the purified surface of this world. The soldiers of Elune’Ashar and the allied few will ensure this.” He folded the scrip of paper methodically, tucking it deep inside his pocket. “It will be a glorious purgation.”

Her fingers involuntarily loosened their grip on the handle, the bucket dropped with a muffled thump onto the damp grass, then toppled onto its side and rolled down the slope. Leafsong felt the tiny birds of panic awaken once more and flit about her stomach, their gossamer wings beating frantically as they crept up her throat, choking her speech and muddling her thoughts.

“Shan’do- did you realise that your vision would obliterate ninety percent of my customer base?”

He didn’t meet her stare, his muted amber gaze directed into the foggy murk of the Park. One shoulder rose and fell, distractedly. “I suppose I hadn’t really thought about it. Elune’Ashar will be a nation of equality. You won’t need to worry about wealth.”

“Shan’do-” The birds filled her mouth, their feathers coating her tongue and strangling her half-pleaded entreaty. Now he looked over at her, the thin lips curling slightly as he registered the extent of her distress. Taking her firmly by the arm, he steered her inside the storefront, stepping over the discarded mop; and pulled the door shut behind them. They stood together in the doorway, no more than a foot apart, her face slightly angled upwards to meet his. He opened his mouth to speak, but she hastily swallowed the avian harbingers of hysteria and cut him off.

“You want the eradication of society as we know it! My business- will be in ruins, your fortune will be worthless! We will all be equally poor!

“I will be the leader of this new society. The economic stimulus for Elune’Ashar will come from the pockets of civilisation who are deemed worthy to assist with the construction of the glorious new nation.”

“But you can’t be a leader- a ruler- without material wealth, Shan’do! Even I know that. And, your way, your fortune will be worth nothing! What value does truesilver hold if none are able to purchase it? None! Don’t you understand how inflation works? Don’t you understand how economics works?”

He turned on her, so suddenly and wildly that she took an involuntary step backwards, the door-frame pressing against her shoulder blades. His face was dark with barely suppressed anger; his canine eyes gleaming lanterns illuminating the hollows and angular recesses of his face. “I understand more than you could ever possibly know, child. I have existed for eleven millennia; you have lived for less than a candle flicker!

Leafsong persisted: “But- everything my family and I have worked for- the children’s inheritance- would be gone, if you had your way! The GHE-”

“Would cease to exist, perhaps. But what is material wealth compared to spiritual prosperity?”

As he said this, he raised a hand; attempting to calm her. She stepped sideways, her hand groping towards the shelf running along the wall behind her. As he came towards her, her fingers closed around the narrow neck of a leaded crystal vial; and with a cry, she hurled it towards him. He ducked, his nostrils flaring in alarm; the vial tumbling over his left shoulder and smashing into the door, shattering instantly and showering the newly scrubbed floor with jagged glass.

“Don’t be childish. You’re being ridiculous.”

“You just called me a child! This is how we act!” A second vial followed the first. He snarled at her, pointing a finger accusingly at her heaving chest.

“You’re assuming that I will succeed with my vision. At this point, it does not look too likely!”

She picked up a large wooden rack of half-empty phials, moisture blurring her vision as she crashed it against the wall; the wood splintering with a resounding crack. He cursed, glass crunching beneath his feet as he stepped forward in an attempt to corner her. “Stop it, you idiot!”

“No! You want to destroy my business?! Why not start now!?” she howled back at him, heaving a sack of peacebloom across the room; the contents spilling out over the floorboards. He lunged forward, his hands closing around her arms; but her agitation granted her agility and she twisted out of his grasp, careening across to the foot of the stairs. He growled at her, a feral sound originating from deep in the back of his throat.

“It’s because of people like you – child- that this world is dying! Avaricious people like you, corrupting the world and causing rot to set in at its core!”

“You’re lucky, Shan’do! You’ve never wanted for money, that’s why you can be so complacent! You don’t know what it is to not have any!” she retaliated, her hands closing around the edge of the gun rack.

“Selfish bitch! You’ll never have any of my profit the day I die!” he hissed, his shoulders hunching forward as he stalked towards her; fists clenched so tightly that the knuckles were a bloodless white.

She finally succeeded in toppling the rack onto the floor, sending weapons tumbling in all directions. Panting slightly, splinters digging painfully into the skin beneath her fingernails; she shook her head frenziedly.

“I don’t! I don’t want any of your money!”

“Don’t delude yourself! That’s all you’ve ever wanted, isn’t it? My damned money! That’s all you ever think about. That’s why you pilfer the fragments of our heritage, and sell illegal herbs!”

Leafsong stared at him, her eyes searching his face. He continued, accentuating each word with a jab of his trembling finger.

“Just like the Highborne. I cared about you – until I learnt that you were a heartless capitalist! You want others to suffer beneath you in poverty while you continue your own piggish life! You’re nothing but a little, gold-digging bitch who married me for my fortune- can you deny it? CAN YOU -”

-Eighteen months previously-

Mel’arian Gladefall struck his daughter across the face with the back of his hand.

Pregnant? You let the exiled one impregnate you?!”

She nodded, her narrow shoulders hunched defensively as she cringed against the wall. “But- Pa- he has asked me to marry him-”

Mel’arian stood stock still for a beat, then swooped down and kissed his daughter on both cheeks. “We are saved! You are lucky that this noble has some shred of honour, girl.

She blinked helplessly, taking the hand he offered her and stumbling to her feet.

But, Pa, I’m not sure if I want to mar- we have only known each other weeks, really-”

A moment later, he had gripped her chin between his skeletal fingers; turning her face to the wall.

Don’t be a fool. The fate of the Gladefall Herb Emporium hangs as delicately as that spider there, dangling from the end of his silky skein. The slightest breath of ill fortune, and all is lost. You take this Shalah’aman as your lifemate, and all our worries will be over. You hear me?”

She paused a moment, caught in indecision. His grip on her chin tightened.

I said- you hear me, daughter?”

Yes, Pa.”


She shook her head. He curled his lip, looking her up and down.

You have become a savage, wife.”

Get out.”

He left.

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Updated wiki!

I added a couple new pictures and a bit more text! =)

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Leafsong’s Diary 24.7 – In which Leafsong gains 5000 gold from an unexpected source!


So yesterday my husband carried out a national terrorist attack, and I fell in a hole.

Yes, that is correct. While my Shan’do was in disguise, holding several hostages for ransom in the Eastvale Lumber Mill (the primary source of Stormwind’s lumber); I was trapped in a giant construction pit in the Harbour, which I had tragically fallen into while staring covetously at a passer-by’s duck-egg sized diamond ring. I spent the whole night trying to climb up the sides of the walls, but was only rescued in the morning when the workers returned. On returning to the Park, I found my husband treading the grass raw outside the GHE shop, alternately seething and hysterical.

Once I assured him that my person had not been assaulted (except by GRAVITY), he informed me quietly about his activities of the previous night. I was quite upset, until I discovered that he had demanded a five thousand gold ransom for the return of the hostages. After that, I was quite alright with it. In fact, I probably would be just fine if it was a Darnassian industrial centre he had sabotaged, if I got a nice juicy reward at the end of it. Sadly, my husband is not cut out for a life of criminal activity – for someone who has no qualms about killing his enemies, the less morally complex act of sabotaging a lumber mill and ransoming hostages, seems to have affected him quite a bit. Then again, perhaps killing isn’t morally complex to someone who has killed often. Hrmm!

Anyway, so yesterday evening I decided to take a walk to Cathedral Square for some people watching. The Cathedral, as centrepiece of the city, attracts all sorts of people. My Shan’do and I sat down on one of the stone benches beside the fountain. Sadly, my teacher does not seem to understand the first rule of people-watching. His style is less silent observation, and more public derision. His bitchy comments soon drew ire from their subjects, and – SURPRISE SURPRISE- we were drawn into another confrontation. Luckily, non-violent this time!

On another note: I saw my first transsexual Kaldorei last night! Fascinating!

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