Archive for May, 2009

An interview.

In an effort to counteract the dilution of millenia-old Kaldorei cultural values (an unfortunate consequence of the migration to the East and contact with the Human Kingdom); the youthful Kaldorei of the Darnassian Educational Institute (in conjunction with the Cenarion Circle), Park District, have been requested to compose and conduct an interview with an Elder, paying particular attention to cultural heritage.

Leafsong Shalah’aman has elected to conduct her interview with her husband Aphel Shalah’aman, as the only other Elder residing in the Park District apparently “hates her”.

L: Hello.

A: Good morning, Leafsong.

L: What is your name?

A: I am Ashamal Shalah’aman.

L: Can you spell that please?

A: Yes. Ash – Sha – Reth – Ash – Mal – Ash – Lor. Sha-Reth-Ash-Lor-Ash-Reth’ Ash-Mal-Ash-Norei.

L: I’m going to please may I ask you some questions?

A: Most certainly.

L: How old are you?

A: It is fathomable I am somewhere around eleven-thousand years old, though I do not remember the proper amount of years.

L: Where were you born?

A: I was born in Suramar.

L: Where do you currently reside?

A: I reside with you, in the Park District of Stormwind.

L: Are you an Ancient?

A: I am an Elder, not an ancient.

L: Do you remember the War of the Ancients?

A: The only thing I remember is sailing through the ocean to Ethel Rethor during the Sundering.

L: Did you try and save any valuable cultural…heritage…things during the Sundering?

A: Everything was a representation of the Highbourne legacy, though I saved some of my books.

L: Do you own anything nice? I mean like old stuff.

A: The necklace that I wear around my neck, which was gifted to me by my mother.

L: If so, can I sell it?

A: No, you cannot.

L: Are you finding this boring?

A: I’m finding it interesting, actually.

L: Did you know Azshara?

A: Not personally, but my father met her on several occasions.

L: Was she really as beautiful as legend says?

A: I do not know, whenever we saw her, she had a veil over her face.

L: Was she prettier than me?

A: Doubtful.

L: Did the Burning Legion ever break any of your culture?

A: The Legion ravaged Ashenvale during the Third War, which was our land. They also forced us to fight alongside these Alliance pigs.

L: Are we Children of the Stars?

A: We fell from the twilit skies to be the wardens of this world, yes.

L: Do we have any star-shaped furniture in our rooms?

A: That would look a tad bit odd.

L: Do you think we should get a star-shaped bed?

A: No, that would be uncomfortable.

L: I’m running out of questions.

A: Most unfortunate.

L: Do you ever think you are like Illidan?

A: Illidan and I are not the same, but we are both spiteful of savages.

L: Do you have an Illidan wall-scroll?

A: Of course not. Such a thing would bring bad fortune.

L: I have a Cenarius wall scroll. It’s not signed though.

A: How … Useless.

L: Would you count your extensive range of dresses a collection of heritage objects?

A: I collect ‘robes’ because I find them comfortable.

L: Would you count yourself as a cultural artefact? You know, since you’re so old.

A: No, but I would count myself as an important member of society.

L: I’m bored now. Are you bored?

A: Not really, I’m always thinking of something.

L: Will you make me some food?

A: Yes, what would you like?

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Leafsong’s Diary 31.5 – In which Leafsong freezes her ass off in Icecrown.

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Yesterday evening, my Shan’do and I went to a “jousting tournament”. I saw it advertised on a curling poster in the Trade District, and best of all- it was FREE! With free transportation by portal! I must admit that I am still not comfortable with using portals- Shan’do Aphel thinks that it is vile arcane sorcery, but my concerns are more earthly (i.e. I am worried that I will travel through time and space minus a body part).

We arrived in Dalaran intact, though Shan’do Aphel was whining and complaining as usual. The receiving Kirin Tor mage asked if we had lost any object in transit, and I said – with a big wink –

“I’m fine, but I think my husband is missing his sense of humour!”

– Only to be met with blank stares! Honestly, some people don’t recognise dazzling wit when it’s right before them. Luckily the Argent Crusade were supplying grypon transportation to the “jousting grounds”, which were located in the north of Icecrown. We were slightly late, so the tournament had already started. I found a place on the stands, but my teacher preferred to pace around behind them, grumbling. I don’t think he really wanted to be there. There were men and women sparring with each other on the backs of various armoured mounts- it was confusing, but I blended in with the crowd quite well! Whenever a Kaldorei came on, I cheered for them! That’s a strategy that always wins.

Before long, though, we were met with the usual suspicion that accompanies my teacher. A fellow Kaldorei complained loudly that we should talk in Common, not Darnassian! Clearly, he had been ingesting alcoholic liquid. During the break, several nosy eavesdroppers who had heard my husband’s malcontent grumblings came back and confronted him. He refused to allow them to goad him to violence (v. proud of Shan’do Aphel! He has improved), and merely met their jibes and taunts with sardonic retorts. It is a shame that these Light zealots are so loved and befriended- even by our own people- and one who is merely devoted to our lady Elune, is mocked. I am happy that my Shan’do and myself remain loyal to Darnassus, and the values of our people.

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In-joke =P

“Shan’do, I hate the new you.”
“I hate mortality.”
“I hate the new bread, Shan’do. You know I don’t like rye.”

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Leafsong’s Diary 30.5 – In which Leafsong discovers that her children have inherited her seasickness.

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If my writing is a bit WAcky itis becaUSE I am writing THis on the deckof a shIp that is rollIng and        BUcking like a sabre with a WASp under its saddl- under its saddLE. I dont know WHERe we are- it feels LIke we are sailing                 straight throUgh the Maelstrom! but SURely the captain is not thaT stupd stupid???


Aahh – a calm spot. The first this evening! I hate sailing, I really do. Sometimes I get jealous of those zeppelins that the horrible Horde use! I think they are quicker too (but what if you run into a storm??).  I used to get awful seasick, but once I got pregnant with Annie, that stopped. The babies have been throwing up nonstop though, I feel so sorry for them. The other passengers hate us with a burning passion, I think. If it’s not retching from our corner of the cabin, it’s traumatised wails. I think we should have waited for the morning boat rather than the evening one, but my Shan’do was adament. I don’t know why he is so eager to get back to Stormwind! I’ll ask him!

Shan’do Aphel: Because I know you take a long time and I wanted to hurry up and get it over with.

Bloody cheek! I do not take a long time. He’s the one who lies around in bed ALL DAY while I cook and clean and study and deliver and raise our children.

Anyway, so – agh, saber teeth, I can hear the wind picking up again – we’re back to Stormwind. I’m slightly apprehensive about returning to the human city. Although I suppose now that the mad stumpy is dead, that’s one thing less to worry about! Nooo, Mirae has thrown up again – I have to go and clean this up. I’ll write again once we get back to our rooms.

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Omg

No.

scary aphel

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Meet the Parent

((This is the first part of my write-up of an RP that I had a few days ago! Aphel and Leafsong have left Stormwind, after the death of Kilkrin; and they are going to meet Melarian Gladefall, Leafsong’s father, the dodgy proprietor of the corrupt business franchise, the Gladefall Herb Empire (and happens to be a transvestite). He is a hard-headed capitalist, and a religious skeptic- neither of which endear him to Aphel, Leafsong’s husband!))

The towers and arches of Darnassus possessed neither the loftiness or gaudy brilliance of their Silvermoon rivals; but their subtle majesty far surpassed the Sindorei edifices in elegance. The wide, paved avenues were deserted, the clouded moon hung low in the sky; and the hushed pall of night lay over the usually bustling city. Raindrops, the remnants of a summer storm, dripped from hanging boughs onto the motionless surface of canals, grassy banks, and occasionally the heads of the few travellers who passed underneath.

After the third drop landed on the back of her neck and left a chilly trail down her shirt, Leafsong decided to move. Shooting a baleful glare at the overhead canopy; she bent over, wrapped her fingers around the worn leather handle of the suitcase, and dragged it a few feet to the left. With a disgruntled sigh, she sat back down on top of the misshapen bag, resting her elbows on her knees. The persistent drip struck again, landing squarely inside the crib which still lay beneath the offending branch; prompting a squawk of rage. Lazily, Leafsong extended her leg and hooked her toes through the woven crib handle, dragging it towards her. Mirae was sleeping soundly, as she had done for most of the voyage; but An’alith was glowering up at his mother with a scowl that could have been his father’s. She stuck her tongue out at him, he gazed back up at her, unimpressed.

Raising her head, she swivelled her eyes towards the south, where the imposing structure of the Temple dwarfed the surrounding buildings. Fifty feet away, supine in the centre of Temple Way, knelt her husband. As she watched, he raised both arms towards the basilica, the sleeves of his robes falling back as his outstretched palms trembled, reverently. Ten minutes passed and he remained motionless; his dark head bowed. After another five minutes, Leafsong clamped her hands around her mouth, and shouted.

Shan’do! Stop PROSTATE-ing yourself, my father is expecting us!”

Her summons proved effective, as he rose a few seconds later; turning and stalking down the paved walkway towards her. He fixed her with a glower, she raised her eyebrows innocently.

I believe you mean prostrate” he said, icily, bending down to extract the suitcase from beneath her rear. Narrowly avoiding sprawling onto the walkway, she hopped up with a retort rising in her throat- only to retract it, on noticing his mutinous expression. Sighing under her breath, she bent to cradle the crib in her arms and shuffled after him as he stalked off towards the merchant’s district; with the air of a man heading towards certain doom.

I don’t know why you hate visiting my relatives so much” she complained, panting slightly as she caught up with him. His answer consisted merely of a pained, pointed stare. She rolled her eyes. Here we go…

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A willing test subject?

Found this screenshot in my folder from when Leaf (during her few-month period as ‘Merry’) was testing out experimental new products on her husband. This time, it was an all-natural balm intended to get rid of boils and other unsightly blemishes!

testing

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