Archive for April, 2009

Laaaag!

So I’m back in the UK, on a wireless connection.. 2200ms lag ftl ._.

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Leafsong’s Guide to Pain Management

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Leafsong’s Guide to Pain Management

So in these troubled times, where Cultists and zealots and zenophzenofo- RACISTS roam the city streets freely, it is increasingly likely that you will suffer some sort of violent assault/malicious poisoning/hideous maiming at the hands of your “fellow”  members of the Alliance. Not even the old (my teacher) and infirm (me) are spared from their vitriol!!

Therefore, I have compiled a list of pain management methods for those suffering from ailment or malady. I will be scribing the below list onto a poster, and nailing it up on the herb shop doorway for all to read.

1. Prayer and Meditation. This method is advocated by my Shan’do, who seems to believe that prayer has the power to soothe and calm. I beg to differ. When I was shot and he was crouching over me, chanting prayers, I wanted to punch him in the nose and  demand immeadiate sedation.

2. Alcohol. It seems to be a common theory among our fellow Alliance (humans and dwarves especially) that drinking alcoholic liquids solves all of life’s problems. In my opinion, alcohol is only good for pouring direct into a wound to purify it.

3. Distraction. This can come in many forms, from reading, to crafting, to going out to Goldshire and spending all your money on cheap hookers.

4. Herbal Remedies. For obvious reasons, this is clearly the best and most logical choice. Stop by the Gladefall Herb Empire branch in the Park to pick up your all-natural, totally organic home-made remedies for headaches, stomachache, cramps, delirium, nosebleeds, constipation, joint pain and much much more!

Disclaimer: The Gladefall Herb Empire is not responsible for any adverse side-effects experienced after consumption of product. Side effects may include psychosis, mental breakdown, depression, uncontrollable giggling, spasms, flailing, lung explosion or anal prolapse.

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QQ

So Leaf got shot (again) in the Park (twice) last night, by the gnome mentioned in her diary post a few days ago. WTFWTFWTF! She was just sitting there, and he comes up and fires at point blank range from behind a bush. Hmph.

Also, in-game Peggle addon is AWESOME! Aphel has found out a way to incorporate it into actual RP, by pretending it is a gnomish invention where you have to direct balls around pegs using magnets…called Troggle.

Teehee =P

Edit: The little gloater!!  http://kilkrin.wordpress.com/2009/04/27/sweet-sweet-revenge/

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Leafsong’s Diary 26.4 – In which Leafsong attempts (unsuccessfully) to collect on a debt.

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Last night I went to try and cajole a payment out of a Priest who owed me four gold, thirty three silver and ninety copper for two canteens of moonshine and a dozen peacebloom joints. I wandered around the Cathedral for ages trying to find him, but I think he was hiding from me. I asked one of the other priests if they had seen him; they acted all innocent and ignorant. Hmph. Shan’do Aphel tells me that I should let it go; he clearly has no idea of how valuable money is to me! Every copper coin is worthy, each silver coin is priceless. The loss of even a gold brings me to tears (even before pregnancy made my hormones go into overdrive). He doesn’t understand, he doesn’t know what it is like to have to make thirteen copper feed a family of five for a week. Despite the rest of my body swelling and growing with baby and good food, my arms still remain stick-thin and bony- I like to think it’s a reminder, to not allow oneself to get complacent.

Also, bumped into an old acquaintance last night. An odd little gnome, Ikert, who apparantly has robot-ified himself…I don’t know. The sight of him made me nauseus. He wanted to buy the Titan artifact I found in the Maker’s Engine, but he couldn’t offer me the price I wanted. Ha! He’ll have to offer more than a blue Sin’dorei staff for my little trinket.

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Herbalism

Sooo I have decided that the Icethorn spawn in the middle of the Storm Peaks minefield….really not worth it

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Leafsong’s Diary 24.4 – In which Leafsong gets shot, and gets frustrated with her husband.

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Last night, I got shot in the kneecap by a very angry stumpy (i.e. a gnome), in Cathedral Square. Apparantly it was because I mugged him!

ME! A MUGGER! Can you believe the gall?!

If you cannot tell the very real and meaningful difference between a mugger and a humble pickpocket, then I feel very very sorry for you. Pfff. I would never be so crude.

Anyway, the exchange went like this:

Me: …Can I have your coinpurse?
Stumpy: Y-Y-Y-Yes! Please don’t hurt me
Me: Thank you!
Stumpy: …Wait, you’re not even armed! Oi, give it back!
Me: No, you gave it to me fair and square. S’mine now!
Stumpy: “bang*
Me: Aahh! Ghastly little stumpy!

So I was bleeding all over the cobblestones, this big-nose human was doing something…peculiar to my knee (if I hadn’t been so dazed I would have punched him in his gigantic honker, he didn’t look like a healer/medical professional), and Shan’do Aphel  – true to form- starts going berserk and shooting arrows left right and centre. Which naturally led to him getting hauled off to the Commander Centre, and beaten to within an inch of his life.

And all this while, I am still bleeding, on the cobbles, by myself. Just sitting there, like a lemon. The passers-by were ignoring me, but I tend to find that most upright members of the public tend to look over people like me anyway, injured or not. After about an hour  my teacher returns, bloodied and beaten, and without a word of explanation orders me to go to the Park. I say, “No, wait- stay with me a moment, what is happ-“;but ahh, before I know it, he strides off!!

So I drag myself up, with this gimpy leg, completely enraged (as would be expected). I don’t go to the Park, because A) It is a mile and a half away, and B) As mentioned above, I was enraged! I was sitting beside the canal near the Cathedral, when that hideous stumpy-major (i.e. Dwarf) Rasmussen POUNCED on me with an agility completely belying his squat exterior, and began to bind my wrists!

I enquired as to what was going on, very politely, since I didn’t want to provoke the Mad Porky One into a spasm of unnecessary violence. He told me that Shan’do Aphel had killed the gnome who had shot me, and that the gnome was one of his little ‘Raining Twilight’ buddies.

Luckily, before we could get very far, a guard and a human and my teacher came; and after a brief altercation, Shan’do Aphel and I were away.

Away, and ARGUING!

What does the ungrateful PIG do?! He starts banging his head against the wall and praying! “One Lady, One Queen, One Mother”, ad infinitum…

And was he refering to me, his devoted wife and the mother of his (legitimate) children!? Noooo! Nooooo! Did he even try and comfort me?! No! He just told me off, and told me that I should pray moreeefgfaasf—

Sorry, I was just so INCENSED with IRE that I snapped my quill.

Pray more.

Hmph.

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WTF

So apparantly one of the “automatically generated links” on my last post led to a blog all about CHEATING AND HACKING in MMOs…xD!!


WTF! Stupid link, go away =(

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